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La Panarda is an Abruzzese tradition hosted annually at East Passyunk staple Le Virtù, and it's a meal that earns the "epic" label like none other. The celebratory banquet spans roughly 40 courses and at least nine hours, as has been previously documented by media outlets including GQ and the Washington Post. It's about convivial abundance, not some grotesque eating challenge — but making it through is still a hell of a feat.
La Panarda returns to Le Virtù this Sunday, December 14, but if you haven't already reserved your spot, you're out of luck: There's usually room for only about 30 guests at this table, and as is part of the tradition, the $275 seats sold out almost as soon as they were offered.
For the rest of us, in a move that could only be described as taunting, chef Joe Cicala has provided the finalized version of this year's (two-page) menu. Read it and weep.