Curiously Named Sports Bar Chain The Greene Turtle Plots Imminent Ubiquity

Maryland-based sports bar chain The Greene Turtle (whose name remains a mystery despite direct inquiry) has inked a deal to bring the brand to the Philadelphia suburbs and beyond, to the tune of ten forthcoming franchise locations through Montgomery, Bucks, Lehigh, and Northampton counties. The franchisees are named as Pranav Desai, Jiger Patel, and Rajan Mahadevia, operating under the name "The Integritty Group," which is not a typo. No specific locations are set yet, but they hope to open their first bar and restaurant by the spring of 2016.

The Greene Turtle has spawned 40 locations to date (the Ocean City, MD original dates back to 1976), with another 40 currently in the works in Jersey, Long Island, and elsewhere. Longer term goals for the company include virtually inundating the East Coast with an unholy tide of Greene Turtles, with a wish list including Philadelphia proper and expansion into western Pennsylvania.

According to a press release today, the brand succeeds at the enviable task of attracting basically all humans (namely, "seniors, baby boomers, couples, young families, and groups of all ages"). To this end, a gargantuan menu boasts all the standards from wings to salads to burgers to tacos to steaks to gluten-free items, and also something called "hog hammers." It would also be reasonable to expect a bar. And sports.